Why does heartache physically hurt

Recent research has found that people who have recently been through a breakup experience similar brain activity when shown photos of their loved one as they do when in physical pain. Researchers concluded that rejection, and emotional and physical pain, are all processed in the same regions of the brain. According to author Meghan Laslocky , who has written books about heartbreak, this could be because both the sympathetic and parasympathetic activation systems are triggered simultaneously.

The parasympathetic system is the part of your nervous system that handles relaxed functions like digestion and saliva production. It slows the heart rate and breathing. The sympathetic nervous system, on the other hand, gets the body ready for action. When both are turned on simultaneously, it stands to reason that the body would experience discomfort — possibly even chest pains.

Though we may not know exactly why heartbreak affects our physical bodies the way it does, the effects are many and can be debilitating. Jennifer Kelman, licensed clinical social worker and life coach, says that heartbreak can lead to appetite changes, lack of motivation, weight loss or weight gain, overeating, headaches, stomach pain, and a general sense of being unwell. Treating the effects of heartbreak while allowing the person to mourn the loss of a relationship can be a tricky balance.

We often try to hang onto a relationship afterwards, only prolonging the pain. Breakups are never easy. The FDA announced that certain ranitidine heartburn medications, including Zantac, may contain traces of a cancer-causing chemical called….

This neatly parallels the discoveries that love can be addictive on a par with cocaine and nicotine. Psychologists reason that the neural circuitries of physical pain and emotional pain evolved to share the same pathways to alert protohumans to danger; physical and emotional pain, when saber-toothed tigers lurked in the brush, were cues to pay close attention or risk death. But still, the pain is there to teach us something. It focuses our attention on significant social events and forces us to learn, correct, avoid, and move on.

We bottle it up. Science shows that love is effectively a painkiller, because it activates the same sections of brain stimulated by morphine and cocaine; moreover, the effects are actually quite strong.

On one level this suggests a wonderfully simple and elegant solution, albeit a New Agey one, to physical or emotional pain: All you need is love. In fact, researchers recently showed that acetaminophen—yep, regular old Tylenol—reduces the experience of social pain. While they might not admit it, for biologists and psychologists, understanding love on a chemical level is tantamount to finding the holy grail.

After all, the more we understand about love in terms of science. Ultimately, all this progress points to one thing: treatment, with both painkillers and antiaddiction drugs.

Perhaps recovering from heartbreak could be as simple as wearing a patch Lovaderm! If you could take a pill that assured that you could fall in love, fall out of love, or stay in love on command, would you take it? Yes, we financed a car together. This was a bad idea…. Anyways, being stuck in a room together we would always argue. He never made effort to go out on dates or do anything. Now I will say for the past 6 years the relationship was never perfect.

In fact, we do have a history of domestic abuse. Last September was the final straw. We got in an altercation and the cops were involved. I moved out of his house and from there it officially ended. I took the car and we both still did payments on it. We would still keep in contact with eachother but only for hookups. We would get hotels or have sex in the car at night. Never go out in the day or talk and get closure. My ex used me for sex and I accepted going back to him because it was my way of feeling loved and close to him, in the moment.

A month ago on New years, I woke up and my car was gone. He traded it in for a new one. Was going to drop off my stuff in bags on my porch the next morning. Also, he met another girl and they both like eachother.

Keep in mind, me and my ex hooked up 2 weeks before. On this day he took my car, I confronted him and he met me at a gas station. He told me he never loved me and it was just a bad attachment. He never loved me for 6 years. Is that even possible? He looked away. He dropped me off my house and told me to move on and find someone better because he did. Its been a month and im still grieving. How can someone move on so quick when you were just talking to them weeks prior??

Its only been 5 months after we broke up and I miss him like crazy. I keep going back to him because he did message me for sex again. I was with my girl for 8 years. November of she decided to leave me because of things we been through in the past. I love her deeply and sincerely and worked so hard to change my ways in order to be with her.

I went against friends and family for her. I gave her all of me every piece inch by inch. Despite the things we put each other through I never expected her to just give up on me. I feel like I was stripped of my life.

I even have suicidal thoughts. I believe there is better for me but I only want her. My heart is literally in pain and I can feel that pain everyday and I have been feeling it for 3 months now. Hi, I understand how it feels. Been there until Jan. I understand 8 years is huge investment and you reach a point where you feel that there is no goal and no happiness left. The suicidal thing is also a trick by brain to make her guilty — She may cry for you for 2 weeks max and left moves on.

The revenge is show her that you moved on! This is what I did to move on: 1 I started writing everything I felt and emailed to myself with his name. My boyfriend of almost 3 years abruptly broke up with me 5 weeks ago and it could not have taken me anymore by surprise than it did although this is not the first time this has happened, this is the 3rd time.

Every time it has been completely out of nowhere, happens the same time of year each time and he always blames me for why he is breaking up. And when I question him as to why he is doing this, he gets angry and threatens me with harassment charges or no contact orders. Some people think I should be over it by now but I am still very much devastated by what he has done and some days are worse than others as far as feeling like I have a huge void in my heart and my life.

Any suggestions to help me deal with this. He was always talking about our future together, we was making plans for our future and he had recently been making wife comments then all of a sudden, BAM he does this. Ruby I understand when you say how bad is feels that someone you invested in and loved and spent time with is now enjoying life without you while you sit and fall to pieces.

I am angry at myself, I am angry at him, I feel like how dare you after all that I have done. My friends are like girl get over it you will be fine. I know this but I dont feel fine today, yesterday and I dont think tomorrow. My stomache aches like a piece of my heart is letting off gases in it. The crazy part is I dont want to be back with him I just want this pain to go away for him to hurt like me and to discover that I was a good woman to me.

But the reality of that happening is slim to none i actually have a better chance of my heart healing sooner than later. This article was amazing and deep it is crazy how the brain can get use to the presence of someone and actually grieve when that person is gone. A girl and I started talking in the summer. After months of hanging out and trying to like her she went off to college.

She then decided to leave me and once she left, I realized what I had lost. I fought for her back and finally changed her mind. From then on we were on and off about how we felt about each other. She was constantly going to frat parties, ditching our weekend plans when her friends would all of a sudden hit her up, and trying to make me jealous. I had problems with her ex of three years still being on her instagram and she refused to take them down.

Our relationship seemed to be endless fighting and she ended up leaving me and I was okay with it, for a few months. We blocked each other on everything, and then one day she texted me and asked for me to unblock her. All my old emotions came back and I felt like I needed her. After a week of me blowing up her phone trying to win her back, she then told me she was seeing someone else and that I needed to let her be happy. Her dad texted me and told me to quit stalking and texting her. I feel so hopeless thinking I was the cause of such a toxic relationship.

I feel like a controlling manipulator and a verbally abusive guy. I have called her names before that I regret completely. Even though we fought all the time over text, when we were in person everything went away and we even joked about our fights.

I would not wish this feeling on even my worst enemy. I wish I could have looked past things and been okay with things she did. I regret every fight and toxic thing we did. It truly feels like the end of the world.

The thought of her finding someone who will treat her right and me being that guy that brought her down is the worst feeling in the world. I no longer have any motivation and I am at the lowest point I have ever been in my life. Man we are twins seriously i have the exact same story except not college it is university in my country.

I know the feeling when someone wants you as crazy and you dont if it ends they change and after that happens everything goes to shit. I suggest do what i do. Try to close to yourself and start watching things i would suggest not romantic dramas for your own good ,but try to fill the emptiness with stupid information for a while after that go to a doctor and talk. Damn, this explains a lot. It caused me anxiety, every day having to face him, knowing he was doing all this. And even after we broke it off, I tried to be good and friendly to him.

Now he just sends messages about being back with his ex and how nice she is, and how am i going. You still have hope dear — please come out of this illusion. Your self respect matters — you cant be with a cheater. Pain will be around until we decide to let go — Its who you need to tell your self that he is Bad and I just move on. Talking to yourself helps a lot. My partner ended our 2. We have a daughter together and he has always disliked that my ex is still around.

We had no contact for around 4 weeks and I was totally crushed. Then his friend died aged 25 and he called me immediately and needed me there. We spent a couple of days together while I helped him with his grief and he said he was taking things one day at a time…never know what might happen in the future…was not looking to meet anyone else he had always been a loner before we met …he would kiss my forehead and stroke my arm.

I do believe that he still loves me but just cant deal with my situation. I cry every day. I cant concentrate on anything. I cant eat. I cant see any future and I just cant live in this pain anymore. How do I ever find anyone else? I dont want to be alone. I hate it.

I really wish I could just delete him from everything, erase all memories of him and move on but I just dont have the strength to do that. The turmoil in my head is completely unbearable and I honestly dont know how long I can go on with the pain there all day every day. Is he dating already? This is absolute, utter torture. When will it end? Have things improved for you since you posted your comment? The loss of your ex does not stop you from loving others, your friends, colleagues and family.

We will go through 5 different stages: Shock, Pain, Guilt, Depression, in the end its acceptance. I feel Lockdown and this pandemic has destroyed a lot of relationships including my own, it was me and him against lockdown and lockdown defeated us. I have found comfort in reading all your replies knowing I am not the only one in this. Please can we reach out to each other.

I totally feel you. I am also going through the same situation, and it totally sucks. My emotions have been hard to cope with. The amount of stress I have been going through this year lead me to depression. Even worse after a break-up I totally lost myself, even worse. This feeling is way to ugly and knowing that they are having fun without you is just a shitty feeling, while you are suffering alone.